Dan remembers all of time.
He remembers a lonely Saturday. He remembers Susan
calling
distressed. At least
it sounded like she was disturbed. He asked
if she needed someone to talk to
just talk. She invited him over. He arrived
in all of puppy-dog eyed concern. She welcomed him in.
They sat. They talked
of nothing.
"I'd rather see you smile than hear you cry." Comforting.
Susan smiled
still sad eyed
still distant. He
eventually makes her laugh. He laughs. She is sitting quasi-lotus
perpendicular
to the wall. He is mirroring her
then reclining
stretching into the open
room around the corner of the same wall she is sideways to
proped up by
his left arm
still facing her
legs crossed lengthwise. Receptive. They
talk of nothing.
"Will you stay?" she shrugs toward the couch; the
couch he helped move into the apartment. He inquiringly looks at her. She
seems innocent. He is honest in his concern.
"If you need
if you want... anything
it's okay...."
They talk about nothing. After a time
they move to the couch
each on
opposite sides
and talk. It is late. She stands
shrugs towards the couch.
He responds with perplexed expression. She moves over and removes one of
the end cushions. He smiles sadly
understanding; removes the other side
cushions. She retrieves a pillow from her bedroom.
They lay down
cuddling with his back to the rear
of the couch. They attempt sleep
his arms loosely around her lower ribcage
her arms above his. The music plays on.
They dream. She writhes
tenses
groans
relaxes.
He comes to semi-unconsciousness
whispers
okay, it's okay, it's okay,
my turn.
He relaxedly concentrates. Your pain is nothing
my pain absolves
you. Squinches his eyes. Dream it out. Take away the hurt. Mote. He dreams
of nothing. She moves; he allows
sinking further into nothing.
A shift
her turn. He is blank. She dreams. She
yips
sighs.
"My turn." They adjust slightly
and he dreams
of nothing
rides limbo to a visual semi-consciousness. The room is lit
by stereo light.
She moves to change her arms
so does he. They end
up holding hands
interlocking fingers
his right and her left. Agreeable?
Apparently not. She wrenches her hand away with
a mumbled "no." His hand falls upon her breast. She dreamily bats at it
a play slap
uhn, uh.
He flops his arm outward
trapped by her body
and weight. Left arm to her waist
then along his cramped torso.
His turn. He dreams.
He wears a coat of many colors. He is surrounded
by nothing. He is wearing a robe of burnished white. He is on a hill. There
is a mountain to his back
a valley in front of him. He smiles
sadly.
His arms outstretched near his sides
palms out and upward.
A surrounding crowd; she is there. Approaches. Kneals.
He is saddened
frowns. Motions with his right hand to stand. With me.
She almost kisses his hand. He curls his fingers slightly and returns to
the prior
arrow to the sky posture
smiling. She stands
eyes upward
oblivious. He returns to sadness
then the tip of his left pinky opens.
Sand starts to drain from him. He looks around. He is alone. Secures a
stable stance
and begins to suck his finger to stop the bleeding. It tastes
like peanut butter.
He awakens. She is asleep. He tries to think
cannot.
Tries to move
cannot. Relaxes. Tenses to consciousness. She is motionless.
He extracts himself from the couch and moves to the bathroom
relieves.
Returns to the living room. She has absorbed the couch. Well
there's no
music
so he switches to the radio and seeks an agreeable source.
There is a table between him and her
and the couch.
A chess set on the table. He moves a piece
black opening. Assumes a semi-lotus
facing her. Meditates. Worships
even.
She awakes near dawn. She opens her eyes
wide;
sits up.
"Have you been here the whole time?"
"maybe didn't mean that much
but it meant everything to me."