When she walked in
I was quite literally stunned.
After ten years
I still recognized those eyes
her nose
her mousy demeanor.
That she was with a leather clad Pagan
both amused and yes
shocked me.
Was this the cute sophomore that I had traded hickies with as a senior
in high school
played footsie with? Got drunk the first time? Ashamed
I was; picked her gingerly out of the car and carried her purring
moaning
body babylike as silently as possible into her parent's house
to her bidroom
in her bed
pulling her shoes off and tucking her in as snugly as I could.
Tears of shame streaming down my face
I left under cover of the night.
To see her now
with another guy
in a way
heartened
me: to know that I hadn't ruined all men for her... well
not that I have
that big of an ego
but I can say that maybe she ruined all women for me.
Like
what have I done in ten years? I hear she has born a man-child. I've
gone through one ex-wife; I layed a model
had an affair with a cousin;
I fucked an Angel. I guess I sound pretty sick. I've almost died a few
times. I've travelled the world. I don't dream anymore; or if at all
nightmares.
Most bikers I know are quite decent; they have more
of a sense of honor than the yuppie trash I've dealt with. Bikers are as
fun loving as any child
but you still hear stories. I'm fairly confident
that she has a man to take care of as he takes care of her.
Women scare me: what they have done to me; what
they can do to me; more importantly
what I have done to me....